Can I be loved the way I need to be?

To know that I am cherished
And that I am of worth
Not just simply of worth,
but worthy of each and every bit of your attention

To know that I can be secure
And that this love is permanent
Not just you being permanently here
but having an unchanging basis of love & of the relationship

To know that I can love you the same equal way
And that I can be vulnerable
Not just vulnerable in giving you my all
But that the vulnerablity will not come back slapping me one day

Can I?

Personal Thots

Have you ever considered my position?
That the things you do
I am the one having to account for them


That it's easier for you
than for me
For I stand in between


Perhaps you are not aware
Perhaps it never occur to you
But I am caught


Behind a persona I must stand

Maybe it's really appropriate that i wrote in here..
It's probably more private than my current space
And after all, most of this blog space
Contained my thoughts about you.


After so long,
I got you.
I used to think i don't need you..
But i was never sure if i don't.


Now that I have you,
I think i need you,
But i doubt if i really do.


When you are gone before,
The tears and fears come.
When you are here now,
The tears and pain felt.


God, if you brought me into all this,
What am I suppose to get out from it?
Why does it hurt so much to have,
That having, I cry as much as when I don't


Why?