One Nite Stand

I'm thking if u wana hv one nite stand wif me?

Today, I have been prepositioned by a long-time-ago acquaintance with the above. It brought back much memories of the discussion I had with my pal. At that time, we both agreed that one night stands are a ideal form of relationships with no commitments, so much so that it is even better than an open relationship. Yet now I want to differ. With me understanding what love is again, I now realise that one night stands are only possible if one is single, and does not feel any special feelings towards any particular person. Otherwise, no matter how lonely one may feel, it is still impossible to bring oneself to just have that intimate physical contact with someone else other than the one that you feel for. Doing it is simply tantamount to a betrayal of your own feelings towards that special somebody.


And for the slower ones out there wondering if I took up the offer... of cos I DIDN'T

zE AwAkeNing

Felt like I had just woken up from a dream.


Suddenly realised again that love is about being able to sacrifice for the other person, and not about expecting the other to sacrifice for me. With this, I realised that many of my relationships had been had in vain, that I was too caught up with being pampered that I forgot about sacrificing. Give, I did, but I never sacrifice. Love is about sacrifice, about forgoing stuff, even life itself perhaps. Sadly, I never felt this for my previous partners. With this realization, I feel as though a burden has been added onto me.


Realizing my mistakes is one thing. Being able to walk away from them stronger is another. Already, people are looking and judging on my love life. "Flirt! Flippant about relationships!" they say. I dun blame them. I made mistakes and I accept it. What I am unsure about is whether I can fight the fear: Fear of stigma, and the disbelief that I will be serious about my next relationship. How about my next partner? Can she accept my past, and have the faith in me, that I am serious about her? I know what my mistake is and I have learnt not to let it happen again. But, will I have the chance to love again, and show that I am serious this time round, that I know how to love once more.

Will you give me a chance?