Uncertainty is all you can give

Just some thoughts I had at work while waiting for the phone to ring:


Came here to take my mind off things,
Ended up with nothing but my thoughts instead to occupy me.


Nasty dominos I have set up unwittingly,
Wonder what 'll happen if one falls.
Unknowingly, I have set myself & others up for pain.
What's horrible is not the pain of waiting,
but the pain of uncertainty, & of not knowing how you truly feel for me.


Unable to derive answers,
I caused others to be held back.
I just hope they ain foolish enough,
that they will move on somehow.


Never felt so lost before, & I have never
Wanted so much for feelings to be a clear cut issue.


You leave me at a loss,
A loss for words, actions & for how
to carry on.
Yet, it is by no fault of yours,
that I'm feeling what I am now.
I knew what I was getting into,
the moment I chose to recognise what I felt for you.


I have no regrets,
Just wished that it was more clear
that I know what I should do

Thoughts In Genting

Wanted to post this when I thought of it, but there was no computer access so transfered it from paper only now.


-09122004-


What does it mean if each time I see some other thing,
I think of you?


What does it mean if my instinct to self protect fails me,
when it comes to liking you?
That I willingly chose to still feel for you,
knowing that it brings me nothing but hurt.


Is this what they call love?
Or is it foolishness instead?


I just can't get you out of my mind,
no matter how far I go.


-befuddled-