Got back the grade for one of my modules this term. Did as expected, but kinda disappointed that I din do even better. Worse, my friends's expectations of me made it even harder to accept what I got.
I tried so hard to hide this disappointment inside me, putting up a strong front for all to see. Yet somehow, my friends could detect it, even ask me about it. Made me wonder if it was them being too perceptive, or was it that I did not do a good job of concealing my feelings. Emotionally tired out
Am so tired of revising, yet am so afraid to slack. What if my leisure cost me my grade? What if the time I use to slack will to turn up something I don't know should I do revision instead? Uncertainty shrouds me like a heavy curtain. Feel so tired and insecure. Wish I had someone to turn to for encouragement, and assurance. Yet, do I want that someone because of love, or is it just plain selfishness? Issues, issues & issues beyond me. Now, I have to just learn to be strong and survive alone. I made this choice, and I have to live with it.
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