FigHter sPiRit

Finished cleaning up,
Felt empowered as I threw away
Flowers from my ex
Tickets stubs from special times
With someone whom I felt for,
But never developed with.
I thought I really succeeded
Managed to let go.


Then I was put to the test
She msn-ed me to apologise
Said she was going to be away
At the time of my birthday.
Was going to visit her someone special
Tears brimmed
I din like the results of the test;
I din manage to let go completely.


Din expect her to remember,
Daren't wish for anything
I rather she forgot
And made no mention with it
That way, I wun have any hope
But yet now even with no hope,
there was disappointment


It was at the moment,
I had to make a choice.
To cry and run away,
Or to face up to what hurts


I chose the latter
Against my own comfort,
I asked about her stuff.
It got painful,
then the pain subsided


It was that moment that I got enlightenment
Its always better to face your fears
Squarely in the eye & confront them
Than to pretend they are not there.


So for all the times I thought I let go,
Maybe its true that I just hid them
Thinking that if I did so,
It will go away somehow


Now I know better,
Perhaps I haven succeeded
Perhaps I still feel something for her
I think I do;
But it doesn't matter
It takes time and a conscious effort
To let go,
To embrace pain as a strengthening drug
To face adversity in tears and not shrivel


I have no answers to the endless tirade of questions
All I have is my fighting spirit
A flicker of flame
& all my willpower not to let it extinguish
Perhaps one day it will burn strong;
I'll be hurt no more
Able to talk to her normally
Able to live independent of her effects