No moRe shadows

Just finished clearing up my browser,
And my various email accounts.
Deleted mails that used to mean alot,
But the value of which depreciates over time


*Nostalgic*
She will always be a special part
Of what my life used to have
Nonetheless its over,
I think I'm ready to move on in entirety.
Memories still remain,
But at least now I can look back
With a smile,
No pain nor longing


Cleaning up and clearing out
An act of moving on
And riding oneself of excess baggage
That only serves to slow one down.
It shows what we have been through,
And hopefully lessons we have learnt

thankful for everything

Am really thankful to my body
For choosing the right time
that all the blocked nose,
And terrible cough came.
It started a little during promos,
and is moving on to full scale.
Tear-ring from the coughs now =[


Promotion was interesting,
A-midst the juniors'cheers & ranting,
When we went to receive our new rank,
I felt I belonged for a teeny moment.
All the friendships that I forged
It put a smile on my face =]
Then it all came back.
Sad case that as volunteers,
Our main intention is to help
Yet as with everywhere else,
Politics infiltrate and ruin
The innocence of everything.
Am so tempted to resign,
Yet inspired by the seniors,
Who helped solely on their desire to.


Realised I am a true Gemini
My interests are so varied,
I am amazed by myself.
Business/ Theater/ Human Psyche
Sometimes I wish that I can study all 3
Gee, can't I just concentrate on one?
Afterall what if I turn out to be
A jack of all trades,
and master of none?


Btw: new photos are up!

Man's psyche

2 papers down, 1 more to go
Yet everything feels surreal
Going through the process
Without feeling any emotions
No sense of relief,joy nor delight
I plod on


Just merely looking forward
To that thats' in store after the exams
Thats the sustanence I draw from
And of cuz, all those who msg me
The encouragement that drives me on


Many thanks to all who did,
Especially penny dear
Who doesn't read my blog.
*Ironical*
Sometimes we have no idea
The impact of our actions
How small they seem to us,
Yet how appreciated they are to others


Something someone said today made me think
"I am a goner, I only hope everyone is a goner."
Gee, how many of us have said that
Or even felt that way before?
Is that right?
To wish woe upon others
Merely because woe is upon ourselves?
I disagree.
Should I not do well,
It's through my own fault
Why should I wish the same on others then?
Man's psyche is such,
That we are selfish
We wish others to bemoan with us.


We should seriously try to change
Its hard to be happy for others,
But the least we can do
Is not to wish others to be
In the same sad fate as ourselves.


This thinking should not be encouraged

My horoscope for the day

Taking a break from studies,
I read the horoscope from Yahoo!
Like all SMU students do,
When they are bored
Found today's horo particularly accurate
So here goes:


You've been more focused on business than on play lately, which definitely isn't like you. Your friends are a bit taken aback by this, especially because it's the weekend -- and you really can't blame them. Explain that this is all due to the fact that you've just about had it with bowing down to other people's professional whims, and you're thinking of making an impressive exit. That, they'll understand.


I am sure all of u do! =)

Whatever Whatever

Slept a whole day
When my paper is on monday
Cant sum up my energies
Just cant put my heart into my work


Pray for me
Sincerely please do.
Am on the verge of a binge
Eating fried food & chips today
Urgh, dunno whats up with me


Unhealthy & lazy
Good concotion for a bum


I need to pull myself together
Be a mugger-toad for a few more days
Summon up the discipline from within
God help me,
I sincerely pray

Bleags

I know I am supposed to be still studying
But somehow this semester,
I lack the zest as I had last year.
Could it be the different surroundings?
The different subjects?
I know not.


What I do know is that I feel saturated
Everything I come across seems to apply
Mention "ABC" & I think ABC costing
Mention "eh, no guarantee" & exemption clauses
Are all that came to mind.
Should I feel relieved or weird out?
Sheesh, I cant wait for it to be over


Then it will be the promotion event
Kinda weird helping out after so long
And in full uniform somemore
Used to be confident that I can handle
Prepared for contingent situations
Yet now I am a twingl-ing worried
Fearful that I ll let myself down


As if I dun have enough to grapple with,
Now I have to deal with being insecure
Fearful and doubts of my own competence
*Sheesh

My other 1/3

Your dating personality profile: Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.

Your date match profile: Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Adventurous 3. Liberal 4. Wealthy/Ambitious 5. Practical 6. Athletic 7. Romantic 8. Sensual 9. Outgoing 10. Religious

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Adventurous 2. Practical 3. Big-Hearted 4. Romantic 5. Wealthy/Ambitious 6. Religious 7. Outgoing 8. Athletic 9. Intellectual 10. Conservative

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Sleep beckons

Its 9 am in the morning
Seated in the library,
my bed at home beckons
*Yawns*


My brain woolly
Trying to study
Without caffine to aid.
The music plays in my ears
It drones on with no effect
I hope the opposite goes for my books


One more chapter of biz law to go
Then I would have completed it =)
Next up would be accounting~


*this is what I call self-soothe =P

no play day

This is so annoying
Sound of Music tickets are sold out
Apart from the hundred over bucks one
Which as students
Would be an extravagance expenditure
Should we purchase them


Needless to say,
the plan was to drop it
Next up was Boeing Boeing
Which tickets are sold out too
*Bleags


Of cos it din help
That we could all only make it on weekends
But well, friendship is more than a play
Too bad we just have to forego


Now in consideration is Lord of the Dance
Its seventy one bucks should we watch it
Undecided if we should just go
Maybe fate will decide for us once more =)


This is life and reality I guess
Not all choices for the picking!
Just talked to my yearmate..
Am promoted but debating if we should go
Back to studying first =)
Jiayou everyone!

woman

a woman, no matter how strong,
needs to have someone to lean on.


When the going gets tough,
And I get tired from studying,
regardless of how much i convince myself
that i am numb;
Strong enough to carry on alone
Reality remains
That I still wish someone here


Someone to lean on,
to wipe my tears away
to hush my fears
to hug me & chase all my fears away


Acute loneliness
Acute need to have a pillar
Yet when this longing subsides,
the mask remains on
A strong female to the world
Till the next wave rises

post exam activities

Out of sheer boredom
Studying discharge of contract,
leading to Frustration
(one of the methods of discharge)
I now breach my own contract
A agreement of studying and no blogging.


Gee, that was crappy ya?
But had to put into use what I revised.
Foresee the next few posts to be similar,
Provided they are before the exams.
Thats a fundamental premise,
which is essential to the formation of my conclusion


Cannot wait for exams to be over.
Foresee lots of activities =)


1. Find a job
2. Pinic with grpmates at Botanical Gardens
3. Sound of Music with yearmateys
4. Learn Salsa with my good friend
5. Learn swimming with a new friend
6. Put on braces
7. CCA Stuff which is not finalised


And thats for April..
Can't wait for May
Where some activities are in the brewing
*Anticipation with glee*


Here is a simple analytical skill exercise:


-If Cynthia's friends ask her out,
then she will find time for them
& she will definitely go.


-Cynthia's friends ask her out


> whats the conclusion?


Btw, that's an underlying hint
A hint of invitation =P

April fool

This post is not written by -Cyn-
It has been hacked into already
If you dun close the window in five secs,
A virus will worm through the bot.



Still here?
Tsktsk..Happy April Fool!
Too bad you din fall for it =(
A little slapstick joke I know
But pretty brain dead now.
Test this morning left me drained
Slept the whole afternoon away
Still groggy now.


Time to hit the books
Exams in a week
Pray for me, let me do well
Interview on monday,
Undecided if I want to really land it.
Oh well, we shall see


-Sleepy me- needs to study
Everyone work hard too

Tremors

Just felt some tremors at my place
Thought I was just feeling giddy,
From lack of sleep.
Then I noticed my blinds moving,
My wind chime tinkling.


Decided to get a drink,
Then I noticed the mirror swaying
Got really terrified
Asked mom if she felt anything
She thought she was giddy too.


Then got a msg from blade
Her place also had tremors
Felt blessed that what I felt was real
But yet terrified about what was to come.


Extrapolate to how others feel
Imagine living in Japan,
Or any other quake-prone area
*Shivers*


Feels real giddy now.
*petrified*

Reality

Was tempted to give it a miss,
After all, humans were never known
For liking to face up to reality


I went.
Felt so out of place,
If not for Yun-Jie,
Who kept me company throughout.
Many thanks gal =)
And you look good in the sari,
no matter what others say.


Apart from having a decent time
Chatting with Yun-jie about stuff,
It was reality alright.


It was clear for all to see
where the close friendship went.
We barely exchanged any words
Apart from pleasantries.
The extreme end of what we used to have.
I guess I am finally accepting it
Seeing it all with my own eyes.
Sad, but life is such.
Its the price to pay, I guess
For being honest about the way I feel


Its Easter Day today,
The celebration of birth
For me, I celebrate
The pride of being honest
The price of being honest.

Cynical me

Lately, I am becoming very cynical
Not being able to trust anyone
Wondering the reasons behind their masks
Wondering why they cannot be honest with me


Will there be no one
No one at all whom can be open
Why must we hide?
Fear of judgement?
I just like you to be who you are.
Truth hurts,
But hey, realising that you ain true
Is worse.


Friendships gone, Bonds ruined
Fault no one but yourself
what remains is just civility between us


Trusting you no more
My walls are up
Seriously comtemplating being celibate always

Female v males

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Settling Down

Supposed to start revision last week
Managed to start
Though am way behind plan
I ought to wake up
Stop thinking of play
Stop dreaming


Need the grades badly
To achieve what I want
My love life taken a backseat
The least I can do
Is to succeed in my studies


Time to pull up my socks..
Be a professional mugger for the next 3 weeks
=p


But before I go,
I must write this down before I forget
Huang Cheng was good yesterday.
Loved the first play the most
Portrayed love as a see-saw,
Delicately Balanced.
How many of us did things we regret,
But its too late to turn back the clock?


Insightful & reflective piece,
Ingenious use of lighting & props.
Loving theater as always

Goal Seek

Alrights, alrights.
Its officially 4 weeks to the exams.
I am swearing off my blog
Unless there is a urgent need
To spill out my brains;
Make space for knowledge:
Information on Business Law,
Management accounting & Analytical Skills.


So hopefully
I dont prove the link right,
that stress causes senileness
Forbid that to happen ya?


Goal setting time!
May I make the mark.
People who wanna study,
You guys can come look for me


Having fun-ners?
I may consider :P
Its still hard to instill self-discipline
Somehow~

Rgs.. beautiful memories..

Went back to RGS yesterday.
My alma mater.
Feels weird to refer to it that way,
'Cuz it still feels like home
Even after 4 years of leaving it.


Walked down memory lane,
Literally.
Every corner of the school,
New and Old
Remembering the old days
When we were just students there


Sleeping over during camps,
Doing drills in the quadrangle.
Taking photos everywhere,
And not forgetting, the canteen food


Couldnt help being nostalgic
The past 4 years have been tough
Subjected to reality, life's tumbles.
RGS is like a sanctuary always.


Looking at my juniors,
Some 7 years removed from me
Seeing them go through the process
Of what i had experienced.
A wistful feeling inside me.


Filiae Melioris Aevi:
Daughters of a better age

selfish time

Did well for my test,
but guess its a high price to pay:
The expectations from everyone
that the next test ll be equally well or better.


Sometimes i dunno why I work so hard.
To fulfill my own expectations
or to live up to others'
One thing is for sure,
Their standards is sure suffocating


Am so sick of being responsible
That everything I do,
I worry about how others ll react.
Am going to live free for once.
Do as I please,
Selfish, but liberating.